Thursday, February 21, 2008

E-punching bag *Explicit Content*

The MacBook has this lovely little feature.. where when you force quit a program that isn't responding, you can send an error report/problem report to Apple.. and yes, I know that you probably also can in Windows XP.. but it's just... easier to do on the Mac..
Now... the firefox isn't really up to par these days.. months, and sometimes Skype joins the "let's be screwed up and mess with your plans" party.

What do I do?
I rant...
In the problem report...
and then i save it.. so I can post them here..
enjoy..

1.

firefox needs improvement on the mac, seriously. Safari is the sorriest piece of crap ever made, and firefox keeps freezing..
Kiss my ass Steve.. kiss it good..

2.
2 times in a row now, and this time only 2 tabs open..
Great work you guys!!*

*this statement is called sarcasm

3.
ok now what the hell??
My internet stopped working.. skype wasn't responding. I was working in iMovie HD and then Mac OS X shuts down on me??
you have got to be fucking kidding me here!!
reliable my ass!!

4.
Helvítis djöfulsins aula fífl eru þið þarna helvítis hálfvitarnir ykkar..
arrrrg!!
Ég hata ykkur...
..ok.. I was closing a tab.. ok?.. on firefox.. and that STUPID ASS GAY PRIDE CIRCLE DRIVES ME INSANE!!!

Yes, I know this will not help in solving my problem... but.. fuck you Steve Jobs!!

5.
ok.. I'm sorry I yelled in previous "problem report"s.. this is getting scary now..
This is the second time this has happened.
First the internet stops working, then it works again, and then I'm told that I need to force restart.. and no if, ands, or buts about it.
please fix this.. please?

6.
I hope you all get chlamydia and die you ugly motherfuckers!!!
fix the fucking firefox or get anthrax in the mail!!
..do threats like that work?
..we'll see...

7.
Oh, fuck you.. seriously...

8.
we gotta stop meeting like this baby.. ;)
ok.. weird..
you know what... this is happening way too often... firefox showing me that stupid ass gay pride circle and forcing me to... force quit... I'm tempted to start writing a novel... in the problem report section.. hmm? how does that sound?
(and yes.. like always... I know you "can't" trace this and this will not be replied to... I mean.. I'm not dumb.. I'm pissed off.. I should know how these ugly ass problem reports work by now)
I'm reading The Secret.. so now, you will fix the firefox and then you will send me 2 copies of Final Cut Pro.. OH, make that 3 Final Cut Pro and one MacBook.
Yes, you will send it to me.. *ohmmm ohmm*
PS. Steve.. I hate you, give me money..

9.
Hi.. It's me again!
I filed a problem report 7 minutes ago..
yeah.. Hi..
well... guess what..
I'm baaaaack..
Not by choice.. no no.. I was thrown here by the crackwhore cunt ass slutty tit face puppy molesting jackass lame-excuse-for-a-program... also called firefox for Mac.
Oh, you should know this by now.. I come here almost everyday!
anyways.. Ironically.. I was just about to log into my blog.. to post all my error reports..
Yeah.. I save them..
I've already told you guys that I know/think/presume no one will ever read this.. and even if you do... I'll never know...
Anyways..again...
I'm gonna try again now...
I hope I won't see you guys... ever again... but I'll probably see you tomorrow..
yeah.. Bye..

10.
well.. it is past midnight now.. so I guess this is "tomorrow"
(yeah.. it's me... aaafuckingagain... 3rd time in one night.. bravo)
I don't have the energy for this.. I just wanted to have 10 problem reports on my blog... so this is the final one..
I'll try to open the firefox again to post the blog now..
see you all in hell..
buh-bye!

10 comments:

Kiwi said...

Guess what. Someone can't sleep. And since nothing works right now.. except for blogger.. I am so extremely happy to read this blogpost. I mean even if anything else would work just extremely awesome, this would have still totally made my day. Even if THIS day is only 3 hours and 40+ minutes old.
I am so happy you saved these. And even happier my firefox isn't such a dumbass.

Ben Robot said...

this made me want to have a mac sooooo bad. i cant imagine what antics go on. i want in on the lovely times you're having :D

Daveee said...

Jeese and i thought u were innocent haha

JX said...

In Windows you only need to press one button so it's not really that hard...


Nobody seriously reads error reports let alone actually tries to fix the problem.
They're just gonna laugh their asses off at Apple

Tavin said...

you quite an angry young women, aren't you?

revilomat said...

Hehe, I imagine these reports are somewhere piled like the reports from this LOST observation station. And once a year, Steve and Bill make a huge fire to broil some marshmallows. And every once in a while, they grab a few pieces of the not yet burning reports, and read them out to each other...
...before they throw them into the fire. And than they will lol and think to themselves that these problem reports were the best idea they ever had.
But maybe...this year... if you are lucky enough, Steve will have to laugh very hard and finally choke on one of his marshmallows, when Bill reads some of your reports out to him. So, keep writing these funny reports, it could make a real difference :-D


Maybe that problem is not present in the beta version of Firefox 3? Other than that you could try this boring and longishstandard diagnostic thingy, but I guess you will already have tried out most of it? Another (maybe temporary) solution could be to switch to this formidable norwegian piece of software... It is my standard browser since a few years, and I could not live without it anymore. But it is not everyones taste :-)

Jase said...

I hate that spinning ball of death. I guess it's called patience, but I wouldn't know that concept either.

revilomat said...

Oh come on, patience is so important! Look at me, I am as calm as one can be... sitting here, nothing can make me nervous. My computer makes me wait for ages?! Noooo problem... lets just watch a few videos in the meantime..... - !!? - wtf? -
YOUTUBE IS DOWN! DAMN IT!! WHERE CAN I REPORT THAT SHIT! THESE *)=§#*$"! CAN'T THEY FIND SOMEONE TO DO THE JOB RIGHT??! JUST ONCE! I HATE YOU STEVE AND CHEN!! I HAAATTEEE YOUUUUUUU!!!

...

I guess Renetto's revolution is happening now. ;-) *me checks renettoTube*

revilomat said...

Uhm. This 'report' worked. The are back again. Halleluja. Hehe.

What I meant to ask, but forgot: How was the driving session?

Leon Westbrook said...

Well said!