Today was kinda nice.. Woke up.. made some phone calls and found out that I didn't have to go to the lab today.. just work at home.. writing my essay and stuff.. So, I turned on both my pc and the mac.. originally just wanted to check my mail on the mac and listen to some music.. but then.. twitterific, my pop-up twitter notification program thingy launched (word power!! right here!!), and that made me log onto skype.. and then.. before i knew it.. i was just back to my old ways.. totally ignoring the poor pc next to me..
ANYWAYS!!.. I uploaded a bunch of old pictures onto my new flickr account, and realized that I pretty much wasn't gonna study at all today. So I figured, why not just have some fun instead of beating myself up about my concentration problems and feel bad. Then I remembered Ben telling me to do a photo shoot 2 days ago, and thought it might be a fun little project.. or whatever.. (he also told me to do this blog.. the robot has power, what can I say..)
ANYWAYS!! pt.2.. Picture time.. - The Robot Remake Challenge.. (The originals can be seen on Ben's blog)
Helloooo my dear blogspot... Happy Easter! :D .....what? yes.. I know dear... I'm sorry I've been neglecting you.. I know you don't like hearing all the excuses I have to offer you.. but.. right now.. that's all I have.. My firefox always freezes when I log in on you and........ ...ok.. I won't list the excuses.. fine.. ..but you do know that I have alot of places on the web to attend to, right? ..well there is YouTube.. which... ok, yeah.. I haven't been posting alot of videos lately.. but.. I'm only one person..! .....no I don't know why I got a second account there.... yes, that would make that 3 accounts.. but I never sign in on the old one.. or.. pretty much never... besides.. YouTube.. is a love/hate kinda thing for me now... ..no I don't wanna go into details..
Then I have 3 Myspaces.... yeah, ok.. one of them is pretty much dead.. but SisterDisko and my old one are still around.. In fact, I just put my birthday video on my profile.. where alot of my "real life people" (whatever that means) can easily discover my very public private e-life... By the way.. have you seen that video?.. oh, it's fantabulous!!.. go check it out right now!!... ..oh... or I could just put it here.. that's fine too.. ^,^
Then there is my last.fm profile... yes, only one of those... well.. more than one would just be kinda... stupid.. and seriously schizophrenic... ..hahahaha.. yeah.. just like my taste in music lately :) schizophrenic ..you've noticed huh? ;) OH.. there is a widget here.. right.. of course you know about my activities, dear blogspot.. that just goes to show you that you really DO matter to me...
Then.. uhm.. I'm sorry to tell you... my dear blogspot... but.. I have had 2 other blogs before you.. and one joined blog, but i swear I haven't touched them since I met you! ..well.. I did once.. but just to tell them that I'm with you now!
..what do you mean "I have a problem"? ..so what if I have alot of accounts, I haven't even mentioned my Stickam!.. uhm.. ok, yeah, that's not helping my case, but I.... .... ...what?!! who told you that I joined LiveVideo?! ..what do you mean protecting your sources, I demand to know who is behi.... ...yeah, well.. I don't think I'll put videos there anyways.. ..because the site keeps linking me to my country.. and I don't wanna go with their flow.. ..yeah.. I know.. I can be a stubborn rebel.. whatever..
Then I suppose you know about revver then too.. ..OH.. you didn't?... oh, well.. yeah.. ..I signed up there too.. ..yeah.. I don't know why.. ..maybe you're right.. maybe I do have a problem..
..uhm.. also.. since I'm confessing and stuff.... ...I should tell you that ..I just signed up for twitter a moment ago.. o_O ..why? ..uhm.. I don't know.. ..I guess so I can tell the internet all about what I'm doing at all times, whenever I feel like it... ..yeah, I don't think anyone will listen either... ..but who cares!.. ...oh, you don't have to tell me that I'm fickle dear blogspot.... ..remember my first blog here? ..titled "fickle as fuck"? ..yeah, well.. you're not telling me anything new, just let me enjoy the new things while they are still new.. I don't know If it'll all be around in 3 months time... ..well, we're just gonna have to see, won't we...
..what?? ..EW no!! ..I'm not joining facebook! ..how could you even suggest such a thing?! ..ok wow, you have just gone too far now! ..I don't wanna keep having to explain myself to you!.. you are not the boss of me... ..yeah, you know what? I don't want any more of your drama right now..
Ok... yeah.. I know.. I suck.. last blog was ages ago.. but whatever.. I've been busy.. I mean.. Earning a Bachelors degree kinda trumps doing stuff in the E-world.. ..or so they tell me.. Whatever!..
Hi there! Last two weeks I managed to watch season 2 and 3 of lost online with my dear Kiwi to guide me and not letting me give up on it.. Sounds weird? Well.. I've learned that I kinda need at least 1 Lost episode to get into the whole thing, and during those 40+ minutes, I'm just a big ball of annoying questions and lostness.. ..and am all "OMG, I'm so lost I'm close to checking out, WTH?! where the fuck are we now? is this a flashback, or?! oh gwad!! I need to pause! I'm so lost!!" ..and seeing that I really wanna be watching the show, (because I like it, and it's awesome, and goose bumpy, and all that jazz..) ..I kinda need someone to watch it with me.. ..someone who doesn't go apeshit on my face when I space out for the 7th time during one episode and someone who tells me "NO" when I feel the obsessive need to rewind every 5 minutes because I feel like I missed something... I really just hate being so totally lost ...that's why I stopped watching the show.. back in the day.. My attention span failed me.. Thank god for Kiwi.. I still have most of my sanity, and am now finally up to speed on the whole Lost thing.. as much as one can be that is.. and it's well worth it.. so Yay!!
In other news: I want a puppy, but I can't really get one in the next.. oh.. 3-5 years or so.. ..I can still watch cutewithchris and dream about my cute little future puppy, which sometimes turns into a kitten.. or a kangaroo.. or a baby goat..
..uhm... right now.. I'm on 3 hours of sleep, my kidneys hurt and I feel kinda hyper.. (don't ask) I just drove my mom to work.. on our new manual STICK SHIFT car! ^_^ I love driving it.. because I actually CAN do it!! It's kinda cold out now.. snow and stuff.. and I nearly crashed the car this morning on my way home.. but whatever.. I manage.. I know how to drive in snow and ice.. bitch please!
..I think I'll go dye my hair now.. yes.. and no... before and after pictures are kinda pointless.. because my hair is dark... and after I'm done.. If it works... It will still be dark... I just need to.. change.. or feel younger... or something.. I don't know.. whatever.. wish me luck.. I haven't dyed my hair by myself ..for over 10 years..
..oh my god.. I AM old.. I hope I don't break my hip.. ok ok.. The end.
The MacBook has this lovely little feature.. where when you force quit a program that isn't responding, you can send an error report/problem report to Apple.. and yes, I know that you probably also can in Windows XP.. but it's just... easier to do on the Mac.. Now... the firefox isn't really up to par these days.. months, and sometimes Skype joins the "let's be screwed up and mess with your plans" party.
What do I do? I rant... In the problem report... and then i save it.. so I can post them here.. enjoy.. 1. firefox needs improvement on the mac, seriously. Safari is the sorriest piece of crap ever made, and firefox keeps freezing.. Kiss my ass Steve.. kiss it good..
2. 2 times in a row now, and this time only 2 tabs open.. Great work you guys!!*
*this statement is called sarcasm
3. ok now what the hell?? My internet stopped working.. skype wasn't responding. I was working in iMovie HD and then Mac OS X shuts down on me?? you have got to be fucking kidding me here!! reliable my ass!!
4. Helvítis djöfulsins aula fífl eru þið þarna helvítis hálfvitarnir ykkar.. arrrrg!! Ég hata ykkur... ..ok.. I was closing a tab.. ok?.. on firefox.. and that STUPID ASS GAY PRIDE CIRCLE DRIVES ME INSANE!!!
Yes, I know this will not help in solving my problem... but.. fuck you Steve Jobs!!
5. ok.. I'm sorry I yelled in previous "problem report"s.. this is getting scary now.. This is the second time this has happened. First the internet stops working, then it works again, and then I'm told that I need to force restart.. and no if, ands, or buts about it. please fix this.. please?
6. I hope you all get chlamydia and die you ugly motherfuckers!!! fix the fucking firefox or get anthrax in the mail!! ..do threats like that work? ..we'll see...
7. Oh, fuck you.. seriously...
8. we gotta stop meeting like this baby.. ;) ok.. weird.. you know what... this is happening way too often... firefox showing me that stupid ass gay pride circle and forcing me to... force quit... I'm tempted to start writing a novel... in the problem report section.. hmm? how does that sound? (and yes.. like always... I know you "can't" trace this and this will not be replied to... I mean.. I'm not dumb.. I'm pissed off.. I should know how these ugly ass problem reports work by now) I'm reading The Secret.. so now, you will fix the firefox and then you will send me 2 copies of Final Cut Pro.. OH, make that 3 Final Cut Pro and one MacBook. Yes, you will send it to me.. *ohmmm ohmm* PS. Steve.. I hate you, give me money..
9. Hi.. It's me again! I filed a problem report 7 minutes ago.. yeah.. Hi.. well... guess what.. I'm baaaaack.. Not by choice.. no no.. I was thrown here by the crackwhore cunt ass slutty tit face puppy molesting jackass lame-excuse-for-a-program... also called firefox for Mac. Oh, you should know this by now.. I come here almost everyday! anyways.. Ironically.. I was just about to log into my blog.. to post all my error reports.. Yeah.. I save them.. I've already told you guys that I know/think/presume no one will ever read this.. and even if you do... I'll never know... Anyways..again... I'm gonna try again now... I hope I won't see you guys... ever again... but I'll probably see you tomorrow.. yeah.. Bye..
10. well.. it is past midnight now.. so I guess this is "tomorrow" (yeah.. it's me... aaafuckingagain... 3rd time in one night.. bravo) I don't have the energy for this.. I just wanted to have 10 problem reports on my blog... so this is the final one.. I'll try to open the firefox again to post the blog now.. see you all in hell.. buh-bye!
I've been using music for the last.. 23 years at least... ..and am still currently using.. I've tried quitting a few times.. but I always seem to fall of the wagon.. I don't remember how it started.. but I do remember being really young.. and looking up at the living room wall... at the shelves... filled with delicious vinyl records.. I remember my dad.. showing me 2 records.. one with a black man on the cover, and the other with a white man on the cover.. ..he said they were the same person..
before I knew it.. I was using every day.. mostly in the living room.. by myself.. some days it got so bad... I chose the records over going out to play with the kids in my neighborhood.. It was probably then when I realized my hobby had become my addiction.
Back then.. I didn't always know what I was using.. I just knew it was... something like.. track number 6 on the record that looked like a white wall.. I was using so much during that time that it was hard to keep track of what was a good buzz and what wasn't.. Today I know better.. I read labels.. It's just good sense.. knowing what you are using at all times.. although sometimes.. I do lose control.. and use nonstop.. for days even.. after binges like that.. my head feels numb.. I feel the desperate need to continue using.. but everything I have.. isn't good enough.. ..the tracks that made me feel like I was dancing on a rainbow of skittles... don't work for me anymore.. so I try to put them aside while I go hunting for a new buzz.. ..most of the times.. the new buzz is in no way as good as the previous one.. Right there, I recognize that this might be a problem.. When I'm in a low like that, I try to find bad stuff to use, to make the old "good stuff" look more appealing again by comparison... .. I have a few CDs for exactly that.. music that is so terrible.. it physically hurts using it.. I try to fool myself into thinking.. it's interesting and fun... and sometimes it works.. and I can laugh at my own silliness... Other times.. it's just embarrassing, time consuming and ...quite painful.
I don't think I'll get over this addiction easily.. and some days.. I'm not even sure I want to get over it.. I know.. I know.. this means I'm not ready to change.. I haven't hit rock bottom yet.. but that doesn't mean I'm not concerned about my health and sanity.. Right now, I just have to take it one day at a time.. slowly learning to accept that I can't change some things about my life.. hoping Elvis will bring me the courage to change what I can... and the wisdom to know the difference..
An instant classic
